How to Survive Your 20's

by

Noor Sheikh

*****

Copyright © 2020 by Noor Shiekh

All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

ISBN: 978-969-696-447-6

Daastan Publications

www.daastan.com

*****

Editor(s)

Reshail Naeem

_

Book Cover Copyrights

Anum Ameer

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           First of all, no one survives their 20s, let alone life. I mean it’s a fact you are meant to end up dead, buried ten feet under the ground by the end of it all. Sorry that was way darker than I meant it to be, but you will get used to it…my sense of humour, that is. After all I developed it while surviving soul-crushing pain of transformation and becoming, while pushing through my 20s. Or maybe it’s because I was too tired of crying after all, and became aware of the fact that there isn’t much time anyway, so better move ahead laughing the past off rather than cry over it. There, there! No…we are not those meek little souls which put on facades of happy-go-lucky life and can’t seem to bear an instance of true misery that seems just so inevitably sewn into human existence. And neither are we those sadist, pessimist dark little black holes of existence that fall in love with their own misery and end up sentencing themselves to the prisoners of darkness for life. Rather, we are our own people; we are of today and of tomorrow and from the day before, as we choose to remember it. For memories can haunt you to insanity, and therefore while I write this little guide to reminiscence the most reckless period of your life with some sanity remaining intact, I will use my humour as a shield from the demons that shall come charging at me the moment I begin to dwell in the past.

You want to know what demons; well the same ones which came to haunt the souls which came before us: shame, guilt, disappointment, failure, unrequited love, rejection, betrayal, frustration, redundancy, hopelessness, loss, pain and a cracked ego which makes you despise the face you see in the mirror for its scars are too visible to your eyes and too invisible to the world you so desperately seek validation of your struggles from. The demons you thought were your friends, until you tried to outgrow them. The ones that you did not see coming, although you should have, but it was your first time being human; a situation so very prone to falling so deep and so dark into chaos that every time a soul crosses over to reach the gates of heavens the angels though in awe, never dare even dream to suffer as much as this fragile fragment of light had to, in order to finally give it way for salvation. We tread where angels fear to go, and where even demons feel trapped. A thin line of destruction and ecstasy is what you walk when you make way through your 20s, dear child. So, hear me when I say, fret not, thee are not alone, and that only makes it worst. Just to let you know this is not a self-help book, neither is it coming of age memoir, it’s an ode to companionship which I offer to you my dear lost, vivid and brilliant ray of light. This is my voice which I was drowned in among so many other voices when I was young, and now I call back to whomever may hear and find a way through this maze of becoming their own self. Not great, not pathetic, not like some God of Devil; let’s just see what shall it take for you to become yourself. An entity, who is most likely to be slayed in the name of honour, love, achievement, passion, hope and expectation as your frail self tries to bypass time and reach the threshold of adulthood.

So here we are, I mean here I am looking back at you from this absurd yet very real threshold of 30s back at my 20s and offer you some insight and advice if I may, not because I think you are an idiot, but because I was one, and for that I suffered, and so shall you even though you are no fool, but precisely for this! Because you are aware and sane and so it will hurt you more. I speak to you just to accompany you, to be your friend, the one you wish you had and I will make you laugh at your misery while you are absolved crying over it. It might lead you to where I am, on the other side, for where you stand right now is so dark my dear fellow soul, that it hurts my eyes to look through its murky shadows for you, and it’s so lonely inside your head that it breaks my heart that all your beautiful conversations will have to be with yourself at several points of time hereon. Or maybe I am talking to myself right now, trying to say here what I wished someone had said to me when I was standing there where you are standing right now. You see I don’t write because I want to be read, but because I want to be heard. Can you hear me now? For what it’s worth I can imagine you smile while I write this to you.

Enough sentiments for now, let’s get down to business. So why 20s in the first place? I mean life is tough as it as. Isn’t that supposed be the best time of one’s life? Ah, there! Got you precisely for this reason dear you. Exactly because of this belief being engraved in the form of fickle hope in your mind and heart, you shall take every little blow of adolescence straight to your young heart till it’s so beaten down, you wished you had a stone there. But fret not little valiant, all we want here is to somehow sneak this beautiful spirit of yours in one piece through this little time lapse of treachery, where as your limbs and heart can ache all they want. How, you ask? Hmm good question… Let’s see how to map this maze for your hormones-crazed mind and puberty hit body. Oh, yes! Here it is: in order to profile, identify and survive the most common archetypes of gods, monsters, saviours, lovers and what the hell not; following is a brief heads up on some obvious twists and turns, angels and demons, stars and black holes, that you are likely to come across exactly as they are mentioned, or in close likeness to, while you move through your dear and ghastly 20s. Does it sound like a textbook? See, I told it’s going to be painful! The thing is, dear one, ‘people’ are the worst and the best things that shall ever happen to you. The most consequential force in your life after divine intervention, is going to be the people in your life. We are social animals after all, and whether we like it or not, we need each other; more often and more direly than we would like to admit. Perhaps it’s necessary therefore, to learn how to achieve that fine balance between love and hatred, friendship and co-dependency, rivalry and animosity; for we are but the sum of the people that we meet.

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The Childhood Sweetheart

So, to begin with our tedious journey let’s start at the very beginning. Oh yes, the best friend, an arch rival; the one who used to throw apples at you from the tree. They always climbed quicker than you, while you were left to scowl at them and picked the apples still without having to climb all the way up, lest you twist your ankle which had started to look strangely delicate on accounts of hormonal imbalances, to this previously gender-neutral entity in your life. You are so used to each other, aren’t you? And just as much as you like to sneak glances at the new exciting faces coming into your life, walking past you a bit too often at college, looking back over their shoulders, while they whisper something mischievous to their giggling friends who are too shy to indulge, yet makes for a good lending ear to cheap thrills of under-age romance, you dread of losing the familiar faces around you. The world fascinates you with its newness now but you cannot escape the hint of fear which is placed as an obvious counterpart to your curiosity. And just like that, every time something doesn’t work with a sweetheart or a previously adventurous path hits a dead end, you find yourself looking for this old friend and new lover. Your friend and your lover; you are too far from knowing the meaning of both, yet you insist on placing the bets on this one face, as they are all you have ever truly known and they remind you of your home.

Now while you let that twinkle in your smile settle, let me take a moment and burst your pink little bubble of misplaced familiarity right there. Oh c’mon! Who is this guy or girl? I mean they are what, exactly your age and the exact same type of sentimental fools? A few years down the road and more than a few stumbles along the paths of your destined togetherness, and both of you will be at each other’s collars. Each blaming the other for stunting their growth, for being too damned predictable and boring as f***. You see no matter how hard you try, your 20s will drag you down unwanted paths of discovery, most of which will be so shocking and sudden, you will end up either denying or completely overlooking the change in yourself or in others. So, my advice to you, my brooding little piece of homesick cuddles, is to keep this childhood memory of blissful summers and cosy winters, playmates and rivals with you and let go of the person. Let them take their own path and maybe in good time your paths may collide or run parallel to each other, but until then, do not drag them along like that poor little rag doll you carried even after she was worn out and too tiny for you to embrace.

Smile back to them as you throw the splashes of water at them, the sand skipping like time from under your bare feet while you sneak awkward looks at each other, but don’t be too eager to break your heart my dear friend, not by someone from the age of innocence lest you corrupt the memory you shall need when the path will get dark. And dark it shall get soon, my sweet summer child. Let the heart beat for now with them, for its breaking point is inevitable, yet let this be a little further down the road through your adolescence. Let the sun warm you for now as you and your young sweetheart lay on the beach like you have done many times before. Let this moment heat you up in a nice comfy manner before the passion of youth hits you like a storm and when all the sunny days disappear under the grey clouds of unsurmountable adversity, far too soon in order to lighten up the path ahead, you will have to burn like a fireball yourself.