MAJAAZI KHUDA

An Antidote to Misandry

Uswa Maryam

Daastan Publishing

First Published in Pakistan by Daastan PVT LTD

House # A-41, Madni Street, Lala Rukh, Wah Cantt, Punjab 47040

www.daastan.com

www.meraqissa.com

Text copyrights © Uswa Maryam

Book Design copyright © Uswa Maryam

Edited by: Mariam Rizvi

The moral rights of the writer, illustrator and editor have been asserted.

All rights reserved

This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or distributed in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

ISBN: 

Preface

Is man really the oppressor he’s always made out to be?

A glimpse into the convoluted relationship of a woman with manhood and the perception of God. The book includes diverse streams of consciousness which explore the conflict between womanhood and manhood, the points of contentions, the gaps of understanding and their compassionate resolution.

Is the conflict between man and woman really irresolvable?

Perhaps it was a lie all along.

Table of Contents

Man is a Secret

Man is a House

Man is Desire

Man is Apathy

Man is Wrath

Man is Passion

Man is an Idol

Man is a Poem

Man is Kind, Man is Hope

Man is a Secret

          Man is a secret. What does he smile about in secrecy with his head down?

          What runs through that mind of his?

          He runs through my mind. All day long. In the morning, noonday and evening. The faint light in the eyes of his. What is it reflecting?

          Does he ever think of me too?

          Does he ever know how I think of him?

          Why is it that he is so scarce?

          He’s barely there. Yet, he’s all there is. Why is he everywhere yet nowhere at all?

          Man is half a god. I can’t help but believe in him but sometimes when my eyes are transfixed on his every move, I find his form fading. Almost as if he was an illusion.

          Was he an oasis? I walked so long and waited forever to find water in this desert of life but when I found him, he was a lie.

          Why can I never touch him? His skin is unwelcoming and uncouth. Yet I cannot help but desire. And oh, the desire burns me! And I know it would burn me to touch him. But it’s the same fate for me regardless. Hell is rampant with women like me.

Who is he?

          He barely is except for in my mind where all the land belongs to him. He inherits most of my tangible wealth. My spirit and body are all his.

          But we cannot be one. His spirit is exalted. He is half-God and I, mere human. A fatal match. A mismatch. We could never be. I could never be. He could never be. Separated, we are incomplete. And oh, how dearly I wish to hold his hand and let him hold mine. But he would never be tangible enough. He would never turn to human. He will be a secret I keep sacred. A secret I’ll belong to. A myth with no realistic conclusion. A never-ending illusion.

          What would it take for him to human, to emote, to love, to touch, for his heart to breathe next to mine?

         Perhaps the end of a chapter. Perhaps the end of an eternity. A new phase. A reincarnation. The judgement day. Someday for sure. Until then, we will be at odds with each other.

          I look at the image I had drawn. A mere silhouette. What was so enchanting about that?

          I wished to look at myself. I wanted to find myself in the images I’d drawn but darkness was all I saw.

          The sound of footsteps brought me out of my daze. Hurriedly, I folded the piece of canvas and hid it under the bed.

He was here.

          He walked with his down. Why had his footsteps led him here? He surely needed something of me. But what could I ever give him but my entire self?

          Some object.

          He needed some object. He told me he would get it himself.

         I didn’t have to move at all. He always made sure of that. But I always wished to be of service. It hurt me to say I couldn’t be. If my entire purpose there was to serve him and he didn’t even ask me that then why did I exist at all?

          I shuffled around but just like he said I didn’t need to be of service, I couldn’t be.

          As he bent down and rummaged through the drawers, I peered over to get a good look at him. I didn’t get the chance to do that very often.