Darkness to Light

A Journey of Self-Discovery

and Healing

Faria Akram

Daastan Publishing 2023

First Published in Pakistan by Daastan PVT LTD

House # A-41, Madni Street, Lala Rukh, Wah Cantt, Punjab 47040

www.daastan.com

www.meraqissa.com

Text copyrights © Faria Akram

Book Design copyright © Zeeshan Akram

Edited by: Nayyab Mushtaq

The moral rights of the writer, illustrator and editor have been asserted.

All rights reserved

This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or distributed in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

ISBN 978-969-696-913-6

 This book gives direction to my pain.

I dedicate this book to my past suffering,

which made me a writer.

Prologue

In the realm of dreams, a burning desire took hold—to write a book that would unearth the mysteries of navigating life's tumultuous journey. The words I pen, like threads of reason, weave a tapestry of self-discovery. Difficult times, those arduous tests we face, become a portal to unravel the intricacies of our inner selves.

In the expanse of my writing journey, a spark ignited within me, propelling me to pen my thoughts and share them on the digital canvas of Facebook pages—Musannif and Selcouth. As fate would have it, the lockdown bestowed upon us an unexpected gift—the birth of my own platform, Inner Thoughts. It became a sanctuary where my words found solace and purpose, nurtured by the incredible souls who read and shared my creations.

I extend my heartfelt gratitude to every person who embraced my words, and offered kind encouragement and support. Your presence in my life has been a testament to the profound connections we forge, as we traverse this intricate tapestry of existence together.

Within the realm of this book, you will discover fragments of your own being, interwoven with the essence of my experiences. It is my sincerest hope that through these pages, we shall embark on a shared voyage of self-discovery, where the lessons I have learned become stepping stones for our collective growth.

I am forever indebted to my beloved family and teachers for their unwavering support. My father, a constant pillar of encouragement, delves into my writings with fervour. My mother's unwavering belief in me serves as a wellspring of inspiration. Gratitude extends to my sisters, whose contributions have been invaluable. Moreover, my brother, a steadfast companion in my journey, offers unwavering support in times of turmoil.

To my cherished friends, your presence has illuminated the path before me. Among you, my dear friend Noor, stands as a guiding beacon, forever present through the ebb and flow of life's tribulations, lending a listening ear and support.

Faria Akram

June 19, 2021       

We have unique stories with an impressive capacity of the heart and individual thumbprints with distinctive marks on different things.

Pain starts from feelings, and healing begins from acceptance.

Contents

1. Thoughts and Feelings
2. Darkness
3. Mental Health
4. Worth
5. Hope
6. Suffering
7. Criticism
8. Self-Control
9. Kindness
10. Loss
11. Past
12. Be Like the Moon

              About the Author

1.

Thoughts and Feelings

Thoughts and feelings cage us and make us their slaves. The more we give in to them, the more they suck from us. They are somehow like a parasite that drains goodness from us. 

Our life is based on the thoughts and feelings that we consider essential. If we are living a happy or a sad life, it is up to us; we are responsible for it. If we behave like a fool, if our mindset is not adjusted accordingly with others, then it's our responsibility to grow with them. Never expect others to change. Adaptation always comes from within.

Our thoughts are distinct from others; the way we think, others do not feel the same way. It's natural, but our temperament leads us to whether we compromise or come to an end.

Things fit within the limit and in a specific direction. Limit is the key to everything. Limit is the emotional break where we choose to react or not. Sentiments are always worthy when used in the right place, but it's challenging and will take a lot of work to master when and where to use them. Repeated turns leave a deep mark in memory that help the mind to behave accordingly.

Our thoughts and feelings lead us to our destination but sometimes, they destroy us. Behavior is dependent on emotions. Think and behave well. Thoughts and feelings lie side by side in our life. Never think of the worst episode of your life again and again; just take the lessons and leave it. Move on with the bright sun, blooming flowers, and every sweet wind blowing. Life is waiting for you on the other side. Life gives you chances for a new start and journey, be brave and catch every opportunity. Don't waste your life regretting the things that will never change, weak people are stuck in their places, but courageous and robust people always make their way even in the dreadful paths. Leave everything behind, past, mistakes, fears, and non-sense regrets.

Feelings Associated with Others 

Sometimes, we attach our feelings to others because we love them and think we are never going to be apart, but

Attachments and feelings only hurt, kill and break us to the point we never expected.

We expect others to behave the same way, and we need the same energy, but that won't happen. Everyone has a different mindset, habits, and nature. Try to give love so you don't have to expect anything from them. This is LOVE, an emotion; we are not trading emotions here. So, never make sentimental bonds.

Sensitive People

Sensitive people get attached to others very easily. They link everything with the one they love. They choose what their loved ones choose. They just move on the track of others. Sensitive people are not weak; they sometimes behave like vulnerable people. On the path, they are moving, choosing what others choose, doing what others say; and when something unexpected happens to them that is new to their mind, their mind doesn't accept it. They start blaming others for their own faults. ‘You are responsible for this,’ ‘You have done wrong,’ and, "You disturb me."

Ironically, they never see their own faults. They never find themselves wrong because they are unable to accept it. There are different cases in the world where people attach their feelings to others, but no one is ever responsible for your mistakes. You are the master of your life. Blaming others may make you feel good for a short time, but it cuts off relationships very quickly. 

Separation is easy, rather than staying in the wrong place.

Sensitive people let others rule their lives. No one will do anything to you unless you give them the power. You must take control of your life when they leave you, and others turn their back on you. Waiting for them on the other side only hurts you. 

The time you spend recalling every detail of them, stop it… that won't work. Use this time to build a strong mindset and develop skills. Learn something new and distract yourself. Use your sensitivity in positive ways and make your life easy. Train your mind and control your feelings.

Healing Process

Every soul is capable to heal, despite of the difficulties they have faced. Healing is a slow and steady process. It demands pause. If you get an injury, your cells heal slowly after months; new cells form but leave a mark on your skin that takes time to merge with skin. Same is the case with mental health. Things are not working if you have faced a tragedy that killed you and left nothing behind you. Let yourself experience everything, be it ungratefulness, tears or the urge to put blame of your own faults on others.

Fundamentally, a process of healing touches your soul. You start correcting your faults. Your ungratefulness converts into thankfulness when you learn from this time. Your mind takes time to accept what happened to you. Then, you start getting close to Allah because He is the healer of broken hearts and souls. He will heal you. He will give you the chance to see life from different aspects. He will not judge you. He will not count what you have done. He just heals you the way you want to be, because He is merciful.

Ultimately, your body, mind, and soul heal, and you get what you desire, which was lost and broken you, but He gives it to you at the right time and He knows better. Your life gets better after all. You are lost in the colorful life, but never forget Him; never forget the one Who heals you inside out.

Remember Him, and never lose the connection you built at this time. It's a treasure for you. You never want to lose your lifeline; you will never live without it. Therefore, Allah is your lifeline. Keep Him very close. He will guide you on the right path. The path of trueness. This time of life will be best for you when you find Him, when you are lost, broken, and your course is unknown.

As Quran says:

"There is no God, but you, glory be to you; I am wrong.

(21: 87)

Different Mindsets and Healing

Sometimes, emotions trap us. They trap us so only we can open the cage and free ourselves. No one understands you; No one knows the inner you, and no one counts the input you gave them. They only say what they have to and what their mind understands. They don't care about the feelings and emotions you are going through or what kind of pain you are passing through. Their mind doesn't match yours. They have different feelings and emotions; their sentiments never align with yours and never will.

Conflict starts at that point. When one mindset is not matching with another one. When you both have a different point of view on a single thing. Conflict starts when energy is not fit and the power you are giving conflicts with the other one. Every relationship needs compromise and understanding. Understanding is more important than compromise. When you truly grasp the intricacies of emotions, compromise flows naturally.

Sometimes we say what is going on in our hearts when we are sad and depressed, but others don't react in the way we want them to. The phase of sadness is not meant to be shared between humans to humans. This phase is made especially between Allah and us. When no one understands, Allah does. When you don't belong to this worldly realm, you belong in the spiritual realm. The kingdom of the prayer and love. 

Sometimes, something is not written for you. You try your best but don't get it. The thing is not written for you despite your countless efforts and prayers. At this point, we need acceptance. The more we accept, it creates an easy path to healing. Healing starts when you understand that the things that happened, you can't change them, but you can improve by working on yourself and figuring out weak points. It takes some time to gather the pieces of your shattered soul.

No one hears you or consoles you unless you are not ready to heal yourself. You should be accepting the truths of the past and present. When you synchronize with healing, life becomes easy and peaceful.

Take Responsibility and Leave it to Allah

Sometimes we continuously think of something that troubles us and brings nothing good. Our mental health is deeply affected by this, and it disturbs our activities. Our thoughts cage us to some scenarios. We want to fly away but can't. We try to eliminate this, but we need something else. We suffer from thoughts and feelings. We can't share or show everything. It doesn't mean we are not going through something. Our hidden battles never leave us. They are continuously here to keep us in line.

These things always pay off if you have kind, pure, and sincere intentions. You don't get the reward at that point, but you will get it when the time is right and when Allah sets everything for you. Sometimes, we behave stubbornly and childishly; we know everything but take time to pass things out. We take time to leave prints on our minds so there are never flashbacks.

Pain is ultimately your most sincere companion. In pain, you will learn a lot more than anything in life. When you are in pain, you need nothing but a good listener who listens to 

your traumas and never judges you, who understands the cause of your actions and emotions, who carries your weight on his shoulders, who knows how to console you, and how to value your presence and trust. 

That's the most essential thing in life, and your biggest healer is Allah, then you and time. 

As Quran says:

"And He found you lost and guided you." -Surah Ad-Duha (93:7)

Allah created happiness, sadness, fear, anger, love, and hate for a reason. Allah gives humans a complete chance to carry themselves well, but an excess of everything will harm you. 

In happiness, don't lose control. In sadness, don't lose hope; in fear, don't lose trust; in anger, don't lose nerves; in love, don't lose worth; and in hate, don't lose peace. 

Every emotion will pay off. You are responsible for your every action and word. Don't blame others for your own faults. Take responsibility for your actions and accept them. Everything in life is under control if you take action on time. If you leave things unchecked, you will never heal. It will increase your pain, and your wound will not recover properly.

So, first, take responsibility and accept whatever happens in life. At least admit what you did. No one is going to kill you for that. That requires a lot of willpower, and some don't have that, but Allah knows everything. He will never betray a sincere heart. He will never leave you alone. He will make ways for you that no one can imagine. Once you accept things, healing comes your way. 

Learn to appreciate where you are right now. Learn to appreciate your inner struggles and how you control emotions when there's an apparent reaction from you. Sometimes we leave things or people before they leave us, and sometimes, they want us to hold them or be with them when they are highly toxic and untrustworthy. Leave them and focus on yourself. In the end, you only have yourself. Everything will be secondary. Believe in what you experienced. Don't believe in other experiences because how they treat you, counts. Try to understand, think and remind yourself repeatedly that what you experienced is worth having. Value yourself. It will matter in the end, not the gossip of others.

Allah will make a clear image of everything. It's up to you how you gather the pieces of the scattered pictures and fit them into place. Ultimately, the victory will be yours. When you don't regret something and when you don't have worries about the loss, it's absolutely a win, but your emotions trap you sometimes, and all the moments come flooding back to you, again and again; that's life; it's okay, time will set everything. Believe in Allah that He saved you from evil; this wasn't a heartbreak but a blessing. Allah never forgets you. Just continuously pray for yourself. 

You are responsible for your life, but Allah has planned it well. Don't close your eyes after seeing the truth. Accept it and let it go. Focus on the growth and value of your presence and enjoy the moments. Allah will take care of you. 

Messy Life and Feelings

Life gets messy sometimes. There are mishaps one after another, we have to deal with them. Sometimes, our hearts give us a strange feeling and ruin our mood. Occasionally, we need help to overcome this. We get down in it, but I suggest you eliminate this feeling. Every emotion is not for you to feel and we have to get away from this. 

We have to suppress the feeling and get into a normal state. Sometimes it proves non-beneficial to us, and feeling them repeatedly only disturbs our minds and lives. Try to avoid the instinct that you get from yourself. Suppress feelings and keep your life on the right track. Life will be tricky; you must deal with every part. Every bit of it.

Escapism can be tried, but we can't escape from our luck and situations that are for us. We can't escape from the things we are going through and the things that are written for us. Stay strong, have enough strength, and not let anyone overcome you.  People enjoy letting you down. They feel happy when you fall.

Just never impose your feelings on yourself. No one is going to behave the way you want. Sometimes, we have to learn from them and let them go. There's nothing we can do about it.