Dialogue with Diary

Bisma Masood Jatoi

Daastan Publishing 2026

First Published in Pakistan by Daastan PVT LTD

House # A-41, Madni Street, Lala Rukh, Wah Cantt, Punjab 47040

www.daastan.com

www.meraqissa.com

Text copyrights © Bisma Noor Jatoi

Book Design copyright © Anum Ameer

Edited by: Huda Hashmi

The moral rights of the writer, illustrator, and editor have been asserted.

All rights reserved

This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or distributed in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

Print: ISBN 978-627-526-070-8

E-Book: ISBN 978-627-526-071-5

Dedication

I dedicate this piece of work to my wonderful parents, ever cheering family, and my lucky charm partner who has never made me drift away from my passion for reading and writing.

Preface

Dialogue with diary is my three year long confessions on pages of digital diary. It is the collection of entries which masks my experiences in words, to unfold quietly. Every pain, pleasure and panic is put into a cage of order to feel a bit less chaotic. It revolves around seven sections which explore different aspects of love, life, death, and hope.

Table of Contents

Among Melodies Unheard. 1

Of Smoke & Mirrors. 16

Anatomy of Pain and Grief 40

Building Bridges & Boundaries. 64

Whispers from Nature. 107

At Death’s Door. 119

Hope springs Eternal 139

Among Melodies Unheard

Times when my diary had to bleed because words fell short of expression. When unexplored arenas of the human core remained rooted deep in the heart and unheard melodies remained.

1.

Writing is a holy job. It's a rescuer, a savior and a shelter. It takes a deliberate consciousness to sit back and convert the heartbreak, anguish and deceit of the world into words. The people who love words and carve empires out of sentences on paper can always be trusted. Interestingly, many of us only need a doctor of words to survive in this world. Because the ones who love to pen the pain are the only ones who can end the pain.

2.

We learn it late to forgive and to forgo. Too late that we ourselves become actual sinners in our own eyes. We learn it late that we all disappoint each other at some point in time, that each one of us has a reason to be the way we are, that some of us will always be good at hiding and some at expressing, that all of us survive on a certain curse of abundance and the blessing of limitations, and that sometimes the only good we can do is to let humans be humans. But we always learn it late, way too late.

3.

We stop complaining and protesting for many things with time, because we get to learn how useless the forced realizations are. What we try to tell others, most of the time, is already known to them. So, it only leads to bruising ourselves even further. Therefore, the best we can do is to embrace silence and let nature do the things for us. Sometimes surrender is the only way to win.

4.

It's so peaceful being silent, observing all the games and already knowing all the spoilers. It's fun being too unbothered to explain to others the wrongs they commit. And it's equally good to be a mere spectator, watching the climax unfold waiting for happy endings.

5.

Some of us would never be able to speak or express ourselves appropriately. We might be eloquent public speakers, famous wordsmiths or witty enough to get the hidden meanings of everything but somehow we are never confident enough to speak up for ourselves. This world has a fine group of people who can fight to death for others but they would themselves die with their own voice silenced and words fiercely guarded.

6.

Words are never enough. They are unjust, cruel and insufficient to express the depth of what we feel - anger, happiness, love or hatred. Words have failed humans since the dawn of humanity. Instead, it is either silence or tears that wholly justify every emotion. Silence absorbs everything and tears release everything. Both are divine and eternal because they set free, while words are mere cages.

7.

Aren't words brutal, dangerous and more threatening than any other weapon? You see, you will be punished more for speaking up than for blowing up buildings or destroying futures.

8.

There is no such concept as  good or bad words. Words are simply the most daring, risky and fragile acts a person can commit. Whether it’s the expression of love or manifestation of hate, if done with words, can bring about  a disaster. Because words break the rules of the holy silence.

9.

Words and silence are always thought of as rivals, yet the reality is otherwise. They are partners for survival instead. Because loss of words is rescued by silence and insufficiency of silence is filled with words, however harsh they may be.

10.

Writing is a holy task which demands wait and search. Wait for a specific time of heartbreak and search for appropriate words to turn the pain into words. Everything in between is nothing but a struggle to protect the stitched heart.

11.

Writing is the work of introversion and secrecy. Anyone able to hold back, hide and hinder the expression of emotions, experiences and feelings can bring a storm in words. It's the inability of the tongue that gives superpower to the pen. The pen that ultimately gives birth to immortal words and verses that keep on living stitched into the history of life, present forever to be read by generations to come.

12.

How inexplicably beautiful would it be, to be remembered for your written words when you die? The verses and ideas you carved on paper, the letters you wrote, the books you once read and gifted to people, and the words you spoke to them when they were down with their worries. You aren't dead then, you just turn unreachable physically for this lifetime meanwhile your actual being lives on for eternity.

13.

To words,

My beloved and my rivals. I love you for the liberation you have been bringing for the unexpressed emotions and frustrating thoughts. I always find you there when the pages of my diary long for my haunted feelings. You have helped in my survival through the toughest and painful times. Yet, I abhor you. I hate you for the love people shower upon your being. Everyone demands a handful of your decorations to believe what doesn't even exist. You have been a rival to my actions and probably many others who find it hard using you effectively through mouth. You blur everybody's sincere efforts and glorify yourself just because you appear beautiful. But still, I love you for that companionship on the papers and the embodiment of the fantasies.

14.

People who love literature and art are never sane. They love the incurable pain that music gives. They cherish the confusion ignited by poetry. They personify every character that a book contains and bear all its hardships. Art lovers are insane because pain is their source of life and contentment kills them.